Sometimes I wish I could save you

Take a breath, I pull myself together
Just another step till I reach the door
You’ll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something, to take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there’re so many things that I want you to know
I won’t give up till it’s over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
It’s just skin and bones
There’s nothing left to take
And no matter what I do I can’t make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

The Huge Irony

When some major world banks and global companies were at the brink of going under, the U.S. government pledged billions and billions of dollars (of taxpayers’ money) to help save some of them. I never thought it was the government’s responsibility in the first place to save companies and banks when they had clearly digged a hole for themselves. The bankers messed up big time and they wanted the government to save their asses. Meanwhile, governments around the world devised new economic stimulus plans to help pump money back into the economy. It was almost like an automatic response. I think the response was fast, and swift even, considering how much money was involved. Nobody can know for sure whether such moves are going to solve the problem, but I guess people think “Well, at least they are doing something. Instead of just sitting around doing nothing while seeing millions of people losing their livelihoods.” Because most people would agree that doing nothing while a major crisis is going on is not acceptable.

Another huge crisis is going in Gaza. The kind which involves hundred of lives lost, not billions of dollars and jobs. Israeli forces decided to papier mache’ Gaza with bombs. What is the response from governments around the world? Can we expect the same kind of swift, quick and almost automatic response like they ‘d given to the global financial crisis?

U.S government’s response so far:

The Bush administration, (…) put the onus on Hamas, who is in charge of Gaza, to prevent more violence. It did not demand an end to Israeli attacks but urged all concerned to protect innocent lives. (Reuters)

So Bush thinks continuous Israeli attacks and protecting innocent lives go very well together. To think Bush has a learning disorder….well, it’s hard to say. After all, he did received his MBA from Harvard and he did graduate from Yale. What the hell.

Obama will be sworn into office only on January 20th.

Obama’s team has avoided policy statements while George W. Bush is in power. Adviser David Axelrod said (…) on Sunday: “There’s only one president who can speak for America at a time. And that president now is George Bush.” (Reuters)

Between now and January 20th, what will happen? Are the Israelis buying time to attack Gaza while Bush is still holding the presidency?

Senior Israeli officials insist the timing had to do with Israel’s coming election rather than any perceived lost opportunity with Bush leaving office.

Another Israeli official said Israel could count on the Bush administration to help buy the military more time if the Gaza operation dragged on and international pressure grew for a cease-fire. (Reuters)

Wait, did he just say that they might have to stop the attacks if the international pressure grew for a cease-fire? Yes, he did. Israel is having an election on February 10. The attacks could be a political move by the current administration. You know that thing politicians like to do if that will make them popular, “Look we actually did something! We don’t really know what we’re doing but who cares”.

Meanwhile, a medical supplies boat ‘Dignity’ which was heading to Gaza early Tuesday had been strucked by Israeli patrol. The boat never made it to Gaza. It was carrying boxes of relief supplies, volunteers and journalists to Gaza.

The Dignity was carrying crew and 16 passengers — physicians from Britain, Germany and Cyprus and human rights activists, including former U.S. Rep. Cynthia McKinney — who were trying to reach Gaza through an Israeli blockade of the territory.

“I would call it ramming. Let’s just call it as it is,” McKinney said. “Our boat was rammed three times, twice in the front and one on the side. Watch Cynthia McKinney discuss the collision »

“Our mission was a peaceful mission to deliver medical supplies and our mission was thwarted by the Israelis — the aggressiveness of the Israeli military,” she said.. (CNN)

What will happen to Gaza?

The Palestinian death toll has topped 375, Palestinian medical sources said Tuesday. At least 60 civilians have been killed in Gaza, U.N. officials said.

Hamas has vowed to defend Gaza in the face of what it calls continued Israeli aggression. Hamas has responded with volleys of rocket fire aimed at southern Israeli towns. (CNN)

So we have another crisis, a war, going into this new year. and I’m not seeing that quick, swift response that governments had given towards the global financial crisis. Governments would rather save bankers’ asses and jobs, which may help them stay in office, than save lives, fight for peace or speak up against a clear human aggression, not when it’s not a popular thing to do. If people think that whenever something horrible and despicable is going on in Palestine or anywhere else, that we can’t do anything about it, they are wrong. The world can do something about it. But the world chooses not to.

Something honest

Sarah and Carter standing outside in the rain

Sarah: I knew Lucy told you, I knew she would, so I won’t have to…
Carter: Lucy did not tell me anything
Sarah: I’m sick! I’m pretty sick
(long pause)
Sarah: I…I have breast cancer
Sarah: Tomorrow morning I have to go the hospital, and they have to cut……oh )!(*#!!….they have to cut off…..(holds her chest and cries)…….*@#&(#!!!

A night scene, Lucy and Carter sitting in the car

Carter: You gotta stop blaming your mum, the anger for these, you have to let it go..
Lucy: If she wasn’t there for me when I really need her, then why should I..?
Carter: Because she might die! …..
(long pause)
Carter: I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.
Lucy: Do you know that was really hard for me to say?? I mean, what are you trying to scare me? Well, congratulations!!
Carter: I’m trying to WAKE YOU UP! there’s a big world out there and it’s messy and it’s chaotic and it’s never, it’s NEVER EVER the thing that you expect. It’s ok to be scared but you shouldn’t allow your fear to turn you into a @#)(@*#!! Not when it comes to the people that love you, the people that need you.

From “In the Land of Women”. Written and directed by Jon Kasdan. Starring Adam Brody as Carter Webb, Meg Ryan as Sarah Hadwicke and Kristen Stewart as Lucy Hardwicke.

Am I busier than Barack Obama?

I can’t imagine a person busier than Barack Obama. But apparently Obama keeps a 60-90 minute workout sessions at least 6 times a week.  Quoted from a Washington Post article:

It’s a schedule he started as a 22-year-old student at Columbia University in New York, and it immediately transformed him. In his 1995 autobiography, “Dreams From My Father,” Obama said he was a casual drug user and an underachiever until he decided to start running three miles each day. He stopped staying out late, fasted on Sundays and became a voracious reader, spending most of his time alone in his apartment reading classic literature and philosophical texts.

Physical fitness yielded mental fitness, Obama decided, and the two concepts have been married in his mind ever since.

“It’s always been a priority in his daily routine,” said Christopher Lu, a marathon runner who worked as Obama’s legislative director in the Senate and was named Cabinet secretary last week. “I think it’s an example of how disciplined he is. It’s one of the things that really keeps him balanced.”

Many people sometimes think they are too busy to exercise, myself included. But seriously man, I can’t be busier than Obama.

Whoooopsie Dasies, an apple pie

apple pie, originally uploaded by hami_nd.

Have a goal bigger than yourself

1. The Greatest Networker in the World by John Milton Fogg

Found this book on one of the bookshelves in my house. I don’t know where this came from, but it’s phenomenal so far. Anecdotal writing, very interesting. One of the things it says that I find to be profound is that we need to have bigger goal than ourselves. Don’t just think about what you can do to benefit yourself, think about what you can do to benefit what you truly care about, things beyond yourself, bigger than yourself.

The Nike brand, for example, is not about shoes or sportswear. It’s about athleticism, a sense of possibility and empowerment. These are values that are bigger than Nike, which it brilliantly chooses to focus on. Obama did the same thing during his presidential campaign.

As we enter a new year, maybe we can consciously think about what we want to focus on, which could well decide the outcome.

SIGGR… what?

I spent some days last week as a student volunteer at the SIGGRAPH ASIA 2008. SIGGRAPH is a computer graphics conference and this is the first time that it was being held in Asia at the Suntec City Convention. I met some really really incredible young people there and working together for a few days allow me to get to know them better. I was enjoying my time hanging out with my new friends that when it was time to say goodbye I hadn’t really grasp that I might not ever see some of my new friends again. It came over me quickly soon after, as I hugged and shook hands with them for the last time, some parts of me still not believing it could be over.

My friend Ioana, especially, a phd computer science student from France, whom I will miss the most, left a deep impression on me. She’s originally from Transylvania (yes, the legendary Dracula town, I’m not kidding). It always surprises me how people can live a world a part but still have so much in common. As we walked along the Singapore river and ate seafood near Clark Quay, we talked about our goals, what we think of things. I came to learn a few things about Europe from her point of view, which was personal and interesting. I realize one thing that day ie. we need to want something to happen, even if we think it is impossible or have no clue how it would happen, we need to set in mind a clear goal. When the opportunity presents itself, we can detect it immediately and go for it. I also learned that week that I was scared to the bones of lions, especially when it was only about a metre away from me at the Night Safari. after seeing the lion I was scared of pretty much every other animals I saw after that. Including the deers, who hopped right beside me out of the darkness, I grabbed my friend’s arm (like that would help shoo away the animals).

The conference opened my eyes to the huge field of research within the computer graphics industry. Meeting and talking to people who work behind the scenes making digital graphics technology easier and available for people like me who need that technology to create my designs, made me appreciate the geeks more. I realize that one single function in Photoshop, for example, could probably be based on someone’s reasearch and algorithm which probably took him about a year to finalize. Then some other fellows improve on that, and the technology just gets better each year and the softwares become more powerful, easier and faster for people like me to use. About every other person I bumped into at the conference are either a phd computer science student, probably with his college professor, a digital artist, animator and designer and everyone in between. I met a young phd student in computer graphics who does research (think complicated mathematical equations and algorithms) AND draw comics on the side. I saw his drawings and I wanted to faint. It was really really good. Seriously man, the place is just choked full of talent, brains and excitement. and if I can add friendliness.

I’m not the only one who’ve been deeply impacted by the conference and the people there. A fellow student volunteer Chris Miles actually wrote a nice song about his experience. It’s called ‘My friend Singapore’. Cute lah. Check it out here. Another student volunteer Josh Corken blogs about his experience. I never thought guys could get that mushy, lol (really sweeet though).

Bishan Park at 5pm is almost bliss

photo by neilalderny123

Love this park.

Haya’

“Every religion has a quality that is characteristic of that religion. And the characteristic of my religion is haya’“, stated the Prophet peace be upon him.

haya’ ..an internal sense of shame, which includes bashfulness and modesty.

-an extract from ‘Purification of the Heart’ by Hamza Yusuf.

Humour me

I read up till the 2nd book from the Twilight trilogy. and, I have to stop for now because it’s making me remember what sadness and lost feels like. a hole in the chest and a lump in the throat. when there is physically no lumps and no holes. and there used to be a long time when there was nothing that I could do about it.

“It was a crippling thing, this sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed gashes around the edges that continue to throb and bleed despite the passage of time.”

from New Moon by Stephenie Meyer.